I don’t buy my husband a valentines day present and I’m proud of that.
Valentines day gives me the pips (yes, I just used the phrase “gives me the pips”. I use it all the time – I think we all use daggy exclamations once we have kids – right? right?? Don’t leave me hanging here with my daggy phrases alone!). Here’s a few reasons why:
- It adds yet another responsibility to our to-do list and yet another reminder of far we are from being the perfect wife (once again, hopefully I’m not alone here).
- It’s SO commercial (It’s possible that there might be a bit of anti-consumerism here). I think of valentine’s day is a reminder that we should express our love to our partners, but I don’t want to feel like I’m a crap wife because I didn’t buy the most wonderful, romantic gift every for my husband. Who’s with me on this one?
- There’s only one gift we REALLY want: we parents of littles have so little time to ourselves that the only gift we REALLY want is just a bit of kid-free peace and quiet (shhh… I didn’t really say that…).
- We can show our partners that we love and respect them every day through our actions. Being respected and loved every day is an amazing gift that never gets old.
- Money: oh yes that old thing. Flowers and dinner can be a wee bit expensive for the old Valentines day
- Babysitters: After a few years together we started to go out for dinner instead of buying gifts, because it is more important to spend time together than it is to buy each other an expensive gift. Then the kids came along. A night out requires babysitters. Say no more.
You might think it’s terrible to be so unromantic and slack. But I beg to differ.
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Giving away the more tokenistic ways of showing our affection has made us think of other ways to celebrate our relationship.
Here’s a few mum friendly ways to celebrate valentines day:
- Make a little something: Last year I made Mr Betterthanbusy a little set of cards in a cute box. Each card had a funny reason that I love him – he watches the Bachelor with me, he watches the Mindy Project with me, he makes me laugh, he thinks I’m funny, he tolerates my messiness and my coloured pens EVERYWHERE in the house… the list goes on… It took me maybe half an hour to make this little gift with craft supplies from the kids’ craft box. Guess what? He loved it, he was really touched by the thought behind the gift. If I had bought him a new watch or similar he would have loved that too, but it wouldn’t have been as meaningful as this gift.
- Have a date at home: put the kids to bed, buy a bottle of faux champagne (I’ve found a nice french sparkling wine that has a bottle the LOOKS like champagne, even though its just sparkling wine and it’s very well priced), get take away noodles and watch an episode of whatever show it is that you are bingeing on right now (2 points here – when I say bingeing I mean watching a season over the course of 6 months because let’s face it, you’re tired and don’t watch much tv and secondly, don’t bother with a movie because you will just fall asleep – a movie is too long).
- Get your romance in unexpected ways: nothing says romance like knowing each other’s favourite noodle order right 🙂
So here’s the moral of the story: If you really love going out for dinner on valentines day, please go ahead. If you really love receiving flowers on valentines day and it genuinely makes you feel loved and cherished, then by all means go ahead.
But please don’t feel compelled to spend on valentine’s day because its what you “should” do. If what you really love doing together is watching the Walking Dead, eating noodles, drinking faux champagne and discussing what a weirdo Carol is, please – stay in, buy noodles, watch the Walking Dead and gossip about what a weirdo Carol is.
That’s what I’ll be doing.
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